kennie mac

I am

2011-01-15T15:52:00.000-08:00

I am the wind that
wants to wail
I am the gale force
that rips through
I am the hurricane
that rages
I am the tornado
that lays waste
I am the wind that
scours bare
I am the wind that
wants to howl

I am the flame that
wants to burn
I am the fire that
wants to devour
I am the hearth-fire
I am the forest fire
I am the match that
Lights the peace pipe
and the crack pipe
I am the fire
I am the flame that
wants to burn

I am the water that
wants to be poured out
I am the rivers that
are dammed up,
I am the tears held back
I am the seas swelling
I am the skies weeping and
I am the land flooding
I am the water that
wants to be poured out

I am the clay that
wants to be shaped
I am the rocks
I am the stones, the pebbles
I am the boulders
I am the bones
Of the earth
I am the hills and
the mountains and
all the high places
I am the clay that
wants to be shaped

Into the Night

2010-11-04T20:01:00.000-07:00

I am lit with the fire
Seared by the heat
Scorched to the soul
Lifted
By your sorcery
Tonight
This night
All things are possible
I spread my wings and
The darkness is a safe place
To fly

The Long-Awaited Charlotte Show

2010-11-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

This show was rescheduled 4 times! This intimate venue was full though, and the mood was good, if laid-back. Happy to meet many sweet Echelon, including the ballsy one-legged guy who got up on stage - dude! And still not sure what to think about the guys being unwilling to come out after...I understand needing a break from the scene, but I feel like why did it have to be on our night, when we waited so long and we are so far off the beaten path? I think they have lost touch to a certain extent, and I guess that is inevitable. I don't want to whine. If there is anything I do want to complain about it is the venue, the Fillmore, they were very annoying, not only would they not only not even consider letting me hang the banner, they wouldn't let us take in glow stuff or water.

Norfolk and Virginia Beach

2010-09-13T19:38:00.000-07:00

Isn't this flag neat? This is the Nauticus museum in Norfolk, which is mostly naval history.
Now that whole big thing is "just this big"
Marley is taller than me now!
We enjoyed the museum, but we needed Papa Jerry to give us the rundown on what we were seeing!

Marley has the con - watch out!
Going across to board the Battleship USS Wisconsin - part of the Nauticus museum.
I love this picture of Marley! Right after this we saw some other Echelon (fans of 30 Seconds to Mars) who were in town for the show and doing the tourist thing also. (You shall know them by their t-shirts :) This reminded me of the old days on tour with the Grateful Dead, we would always see other deadheads in the art museums...good times, happy to be making new memories!
That's some big guns behind us!

We were quite impressed with the tininess of the living quarters and what it must take to live at sea.

Mars on deck
My crazy guys.
the sand is different in VA...they add to the beach differently up there I think - interesting.
I found this boy washed up on the beach...
last stop was a place called Abbey Road
we had a nice trip, were very impressed by the boardwalk and bike lanes at the beach and think we would enjoy going back.

30 Seconds to Mars in Norfolk

2010-09-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

Jared sings his acoustic songs right behind my banners! This just made my night! Oh, and when he complimented them from the stage, that was lovely, made all the hard work worthwhile! I have never done anything like making these big banners, never really painted on fabric much, so to create a design, like I did with the triad one, and then execute it so closely to how I envisioned it, was really exciting.This picture is fun because you can see me and Marley in the upper left! Also Tomo's wearing a Birthday hat!

It is almost Lammas

2010-07-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

Here are Klimt's beautiful sunflowers, and Terry has been bringing us the bounty of the Earth, it is not hard to feel the gratitude of the season! Here is Starhawk's explanation of the holiday. Her words seem especially meaningful this year.

Lammas
Lammas is the ancient Celtic festival at the beginning of harvest time. "Lughnasad" is the Irish name for this festival; it was a time of fairs, trading and celebration.
Now, when the days grow visibly shorter and the sun seems to decline, the crops ripen. So too, when we work for justice, when we have expended huge energies to bring about change, the results often come only when the tides of enthusiasm and urgency seem to be ebbing. When the marching and the shouting die away, public opinion quietly shifts.
Lammas means 'loaf-mass', the festival where we honor and celebrate the grain and the food that sustains our life. In a just world, no one would go hungry. All people would have access to good quality food - organic, fresh, local, and truly nourishing.
The grain stands golden in the fields, but has not yet been gathered in. We stand poised between hope and fear. Lammas is a time of consequence, when we reap what we have sown. Globally, we are now reaping the consequences of decades of injustice, of neglect, and exploitation of the earth. Will we make the change, in time to avert disaster? Will we reap destruction, or harvest a new world based on harmony, balance and love? Our choices and actions will tip the scales.
- Starhawk 2007

Triad

2010-07-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

A Million little pieces...

30 Seconds to Mars in Atlanta April 29, 2010

2010-07-12T15:33:00.000-07:00

We walked over to the show as it was getting dark. I was worried they might give me trouble about bringing the presents in, but the guy at the door was very sweet. The Tabernacle was amazing. An old church, the interior has been painted on every surface. It was packed with people. I really think they should have played the Fox. Next time! We went to the upper level and discovered that there were no seats to be had, so I asked about the handicapped area, and eventually we ended up over on the left side (Tomo’s side) um, Jared’s right, right even with the stage. We had a great view.

More importantly, considering the heat in the place, we had cool air blowing on us. It was perfect. Ben got great pictures. The show was awesome. He makes it look effortless. In fact, after he came out of the crowd during the Kill, I looked at him very carefully, expecting him to be breathless, or to show some sign of what he’d just done – none. Total casualness. Crazy. How you could have all those people all over you and not have to shake it off a bit…

It was great, it is all out there with Mars, what you needed the psychedelics to see with the Dead you can see with your bare eyes – and feel viscerally with Mars. When Jared gets everyone going for the end of Search and Destroy it is a beautiful thing. Then there is the craziness of everyone bodysurfing up to take part in Kings & Queens and he calls the kids up and puts them on Shann’s riser…and of course Kings & Queens is the grand finale. Then there is the afterglow and the mad dash to find the merch booth in the basement before they kick us out and the disappointment that there is nothing left to buy. No small stuff, no 2x tees, none of the first 2 cds. Out then to the barricade around the busses with the other die hards hoping for autographs, everyone grumbling because no one knows what’s going on. I don’t care about the autographs; I want to give them jewelry I have made, chocolate for Tomo and airborne to help get Jared well. I have to scribble on the card I made because I have been too nervous to write it properly. It has been hard to believe – the real guys – out of the ether.

2010-03-10T13:10:00.000-08:00

Wow! Was I ever surprised, shocked and amazed! Everyone completely fooled me with the planning of this party, and I was really touched by the effort that went into it. My mom mad the great posters, Elizabeth did the shirts, Hyla donated her house - and of course Ben. Oh and Jim made the beautiful and yummy cake and T did so much - and then couldn't be there.
The shirts were so great!
My mom made the wonderful posters.And my sweet husband engineered the whole thing.My son, Marley and my mom, Suzanne. To the right is the wall where they projected video of the band all night long - it was great!
30 Seconds to Mars has made me feel younger, more vital, energetic and inspired than I have in a long time. Which is a good thing! It is what we need from our artists.

Mars Art

2010-01-03T20:25:00.000-08:00

It is fun to be inspired by other artists. This is inspired by the music and message of 30 Seconds to Mars. I have never done a collage so focused on one color before, and you can see how challenged I was by the straight lines! Red is also a very all or nothing color - there's no half way, not really shades. I used a lot more art pieces, and had to seek different images because this had to have specific meaning, pertaining to the band. Everything has meaning and significance in some way. Some of the things I would mention, is that the very tip shows the light of a star being born and the wonderful Janus-headed stand-in for Mithra (the phoenix) comes from an old vodka ad. The bowl represents abundance, and is also the circle about which Black Elk says: "Everything an Indian does is in a circle, and that is because the power of the world always works in circles, and everything tries to be round." The red coral in the bowl evokes energy and passion. Uniting the arrow with the circle in this piece is meant to represent the coming together of the divine masculine and the divine feminine.
30STM is a band with rich symbolic lore, it is what really drew me in, and one of the things that they (strangely) share with the Grateful Dead. But with the Dead, it was drugs, divine intervention, and groupthink of a large group of creative tripping people. 30STM was started by two brothers from Louisiana, they are a little younger than I am, grew up poor and without their dad, like so many of us - point is: I can relate to them as peers. They have worked really hard to get where they are, and they express a genuine sense of gratitude that I like and respect. And they put all this thought into how to get their fans reading and exploring big ideas.

2009-12-16T22:32:00.000-08:00

Freshly scanned artwork! For whatever reason, getting the art to the scanner (or in front of the camera) seems to take forever. But this is one of my favorites - and it might even make it to the wall one of these days! Though I am excited to be able to share - I do believe that the important thing is the act of creation and the fulfillment that it gives... even if it is not seen or appreciated by others. Like most artists, I create because I need to. This piece, which I called The Bright One, is a good example of what I love about the visual arts - color. Collage allows me to play with color, shape, and ideas in a way that is very flexible and suits my crazy life. I can start and stop whenever, and that works well for me.

Being a Fan

2009-11-30T18:04:00.000-08:00

So recently I became a fan of a band again. This has happened to me several times now- and I am struck by how being a fan has changed. When I was a teenager we had magazines - and of course they are still there, but what I am looking at now is European material scanned and uploaded to the fan forum on the band's website. While I remember MTV revolutionizing everything, youtube has really changed the game because here I can watch footage of concerts that happened hours ago, anywhere. Also the fan made videos and the leaking via youtube really change the nature of things, with positives and negatives to consider about both. My point is, it is an exciting time to be a fan, your interest in an artist can be immediately gratified and ultimately that is going to work in favor of the artists. With memories of the Grateful Dead hotline and mailorder with your #10 envelope...we have come some distance.

Serpent Mound and Why Walmart is Bad

2009-10-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

In Spring of 2004 we took a trip to Ohio to visit the Serpent Mound. It is the largest effigy mound in the world at 1,330 feet long. There is some uncertainty about its age, it may have been built by the Adena people who built the other nearby mounds. They built mounds all over the Ohio valley down to Mississippi from 1000 BCE to 200 BCE. Or it could have been built by the later Fort Ancient people who were in the area from 1000 CE to 1550 CE. For more information please go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serpent_Mound
There are mound sites all over the United States, these sites are our stone circles, our Stonehenges. To learn more go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mississippian_culture
To read about our visit to North Carolina's mound site go back on this blog! (not too far, really.)
What about Walmart? we don't shop there because we think that voting with your money is one of the few powers you have left. If you haven't heard plenty of good reasons to stop supporting them with your dollars...ok here you go - they tear up these sacred mounds to build their stores, sometimes not even as a location but just for fill dirt! Please take a moment, go here and read about this, and at the very least you will have discovered Facing South, which is a great independent news source! (based here in Durham) http://www.southernstudies.org/2009/09/wal-marts-history-of-destroying-sacred-sites.html

Has Mainstream Media Wiped Out Humanity?

2009-09-12T12:49:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'll admit it, I'm feeling a little grumpy. But I think there is ample evidence that the major media organizations have their own agendas that have more to do with profit than the longevity of the human species. I have no doubt that they have a cast of the usual suspects to roll out when we get closer to the UN Climate Summit convening in Copenhagen in December, that will be just as opposed to addressing the climate as they are to dealing with health care.
The problem is the planet won't wait while we are uninformed for another 20 years. The planet is going to respond to the pollution, and is going to become less and less inhabitable. Many, many people will be displaced. The outer banks of NC are going to disappear, my grandchildren won't know the beaches I played on - that makes me sad, but also angry at the generations that came before me. Why didn't you protect my world? The Native Americans teach governing that includes thinking seven generations into the future - I am not sure how far our leaders can see, or what world some of them are looking at.
So, U.S. media is dead last on international hard news, and 62% of Americans surveyed didn't even know what the Kyoto Accords were, so there isn't a lot of pressure on anyone, media or politician to get this right. And even if we get it right (by agreeing to the treaty's goals cutting emissions), that is still only 50-50 chance that it will be enough to keep the planet from heating two more degrees which is all it will take to trigger runaway climate change.
I watch British TV and read press from over there, they are light years ahead of us on this issue. We need to be planning to contact our representatives about this, in the glare of whatever may be happening with health care and the rush towards Christmas (Copenhagen is Dec. 6-18) it will be very easy for this whole issue to slide under the radar.
If we don't start to deal with the climate we are going to have some very harsh health implications, so we definitely have to be concerned about both.

Fucking with Reality

2009-09-12T09:41:00.000-07:00

I just found out that Newcastle is no longer exporting coal, in fact, they have begun importing coal. So, now if we say 'like taking coal to Newcastle" we may mean a fool's errand, but we will be using a phrase that has detached from it's real world meaning. I love language, and learning origins of expressions, and it is inevitable that things are always changing. "Sold down the river" is one I was noticing recently, it of course having it's roots in slavery.
Newcastle running out of coal though, perhaps because it has to do with finite resources, strikes me as a sad thing to happen. And one more blaring wake up call to us - it is past time to change our ways.

My friend Eric

2009-08-21T14:25:00.000-07:00

I'd like to encourage everyone to check out this website that is for single payer health care.
http://www.americanhealthcarereform.org/
I've posted this picture of my friend Eric A. because his story is an example of what we have now. I came to know Eric in the summer of 1990. He was one of my housemates in a latter day hippie house here in Durham. We were part of the first bunch to share the "Burch house" but many of our friends lived there over the years. Eric came to Durham from Tennessee, where he grew up on The Farm, a legendary commune. He told us what it was like to grow up in those primitive and unusual circumstances, and we teased him for his love all things sweet.
Eric was one of the kindest, most generous, most vibrant people I have ever known. And he died before he was 35 years old. He had gone back home to Tennessee, and was having digestive troubles. He went to a clinic repeatedly but they did not do tests on him until when they finally discovered the cancer they told him they must operate right then or he had 2 weeks to live. Amazingly, he did survive for some time after that a year or more. I can't help but think if they had only discovered it sooner he would have had excellent chances to be here today.
Instead we feel his absence, a missing thread in our web of friends, without him perhaps we all fly a little farther apart. He would have some kids by now, be married....
If you take the time to read the stories from people who have experience with what health care is like when profit motive is taken out, it becomes much more humane. There are certain things that just do not need to be driven by money. When they are, bad decisions are made. The system is just set up wrong. We need single payer - medicare for all.
Though a majority of Americans agree, it is disheartening to watch the media defend the status quo as the Senate sells us down the river. Thank goodness for www.firedoglake.com - check out the good work they have been doing over there! They have been whipping the house and have over 60 representatives on board supporting a public option.

Health Care for All

2009-07-25T23:59:00.000-07:00

I have been following the health care debate and have some links I'd like to share.
http://www.americanhealthcarereform.org/
has lots of links itself, is for single-payer medicare for all. I'd just like to mention that I have been on medicare for about 14 years and it works just fine. The prescription drug part, part D, has a few problems that could use fixing but overall it is a great program. I'd really like to hear more medicare recipients coming forward to say, this is government run health insurance, and it works for me!
there is going to be a march on Washington for single payer on July 30. Info here:
http://www.democrats.com/node/19877
One of the speakers at the rally will be a favorite author of mine Barbara Ehrenreich, she's most famous in the triangle for her book Nickled and Dimed, because when it was assigned as the reading for the freshman class at UNC a few years ago the conservatives freaked out and had a big ole hissy fit.
We were talking about how the world has changed and in order to keep the population healthy it is important for people to be able to go to the doctor when they aren't well. I just read that McDonald's had a hepatitis scare, that one person may have infected thousands. The people who think that their money and their health insurance and their good jobs have them protected are not thinking about all the unprotected people they come in contact with. The only way for anyone to be healthy is for everyone to be healthy.

Ocean Breezes

2009-07-25T17:27:00.000-07:00

We have returned from a lovely few days in Myrtle Beach, SC. Or as one of our friends so charmingly called it - the Redneck Riviera. I did a lot of research before we went, and I think we were fairly satisfied with where we stayed - The Breakers hotel right on the grand strand. It had a water park with a lazy river that was a big hit. We really enjoyed the ocean too - we had some nice calm water. We were also close to the Broadway on the Beach which is shops and restaurants. We enjoyed drinks and nachos outside at the bar at the Hard Rock Cafe. We were able to take in the live band and still make the fireworks at 10 pm.
The pyramid design reminded us of the coliseum in Memphis,TN where we saw the Grateful Dead in the spring of 1995. No trip to Myrtle Beach would be complete without a game of putt putt golf. This time we tried out Mount Atlanticus, which has to be the climbingest putt putt ever! It was pretty cool - I am just out of shape for all the steps - and when you get to the top there is a good view.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2009-07-16T10:51:00.001-07:00

I've been having some technical difficulties here lately, and I haven't posted in a while. I need to catch up on some things. Not only did the nation have a birthday, but we had a family one too - though we still haven't celebrated it. Happy Birthday to my Auntie - we will get together soon! We have been feeling pretty celebratory (and relieved) that my husband passed his Big Test - he is now CCNA certified - so he can apply for better jobs. Congratulations honey.
We have been considering a beach vacation and have been doing a lot of comparing on NC beaches to Myrtle Beach which is just over the line in SC. I really don't want to take our money to SC, in light of Sanford, but when you compare what the regions have to offer for a 12 year old, it is pretty overwhelming. I have been wondering why no one is trying to compete at all- I mean the only putt putt at Atlantic Beach just closed last year. As far as I know there aren't any hotels with water park features in NC, they are all the rage in Myrtle. I suppose one thing is that you just get the glomming effect - development breeds development. Still I think it is weird that no one is trying to draw away any of the people who go there with a little boost in development here.
Not that I don't like our undeveloped, natural beaches, I'm talking small in comparison to Myrtle.
Just Something More for kids, maybe a little more classy night life. Anyone?
These thoughts are the result of an exhaustive search of the Myrtle Beach hotels to determine where would be best to stay. We have a lot of criteria: affordability, beachfront, water park, good reviews, and strangely difficult to find: internet. And in our price range you have to check for amenities like fridge, microwave, even coffeemaker. I think it would be very easy to end up disappointed, we had to really examine places to feel like we knew what we were getting - and of course, we haven't gotten there yet! We were left wondering how people did this before the internet. However it was, it was probably faster!

The Lessons of Chronic Illness

2009-07-01T13:12:00.000-07:00

This is something I have been meaning to write about for a while, but it is a tough topic because these are things I'm still working on. Particularly the first thing, which is, listen to your body. In order to take care of our bodies we have to understand what they need. We have to stop pushing our bodies to do what we are willing them to do, but do what they need - eat well, exercise, rest when we are tired.
Learning about your condition may seem obvious, but sometimes it is easier to research other people's ailments than your own. It is important though, because otherwise you are dealing with a big scary blob - you need to understand so you can fully participate in your health care decisions. Which leads me to the next extremely important thing. Put together a really good team of Doctors - and talk to them. I cannot stress enough how vital it is to have doctors you feel good about. Once you have these people in place you have to remember to tell them the problems you are having. A good thing to do is to keep a notebook where you can write down any questions you have before appointments, and also take notes at appointments. Another helpful thing can be a symptom diary.
Returning to the internet, there are some great blogs out there that offer support - I find that it doesn't matter really if we share the same illness, it is the experience of illness. Some of my favorites are on the right side.
Find something you enjoy, that you can do even if you aren't feeling well. I used to do a lot of coloring back when I was taking a lot of pain meds and I wasn't reading much. (Very Adult designs with watercolor markers - no crayons, thank you!) Then I got into collage because I could do it in bits and pieces while Marley napped....The point is there is something you can do that will give you pleasure you just need to figure out what and do it - because you deserve some pleasure.

An Era Passes

2009-06-25T22:37:00.000-07:00

On returning home tonight we discovered this wonderful memorial to Michael Jackson in our neighborhood's special place. It may appear to be a traffic circle, but it is where we acknowledge the holidays, come together to ring in the new year, and now mourn an artist who we watched grow up, for some of us, right along with us - he was only ten years older than I am. When my son and I walked down to take pictures we saw that people had written their favorite song titles around the base of the circle. The circle above is a record album and there are candles below. It was a very creative, interactive memorial. Good job traffic circle fairies.

Uwharrie Camping

2009-06-04T09:11:00.000-07:00

We made a spontaneous, but long-desired (at least on my part) trip to the Uwharrie National Forest this week. We camped on the shore of Badin Lake, visited Town Creek Indian Mound and the more personal site of my great-grandmother's home, sadly no longer standing there. This was a return to camping after a lengthy hiatus, and possibly the first of several trips to get us in shape for traveling out west. This was also Buddy's first camping trip and we enjoyed seeing him have the experience. We discovered that Badin Lake is oriented towards fishing and boating, with no area designated for swimming. We did swim, but Marley almost got impaled by a fish hook. The Uwharrie is also horse country. Unfortunately, this leads to horse poop. Which Buddy took upon himself to roll in - naturally. A small glitch.This is Town Creek Indian Mound. It was made by the Pee Dee Indians who were living in this region from A.D. 1000-1400. They are culturally distinct from other native peoples in North Carolina, in that they follow the Mississippian tradition, rather than the Piedmont Village tradition.Buddy wore himself out, and so did we. Camping is a lot of work! I say this as the living room full of equipment awaits attention. But we had a nice time, with only minor mishaps, and it was relaxing to camp somewhere where the only wildlife to worry about was squirrels - though they did chew two holes in our cooler! All in all, it was a good trip.

Buddy Love

2009-05-31T10:41:00.000-07:00

I'm a dog person. Specifically, I'm a big dog person. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a happy dog. So, when my son Marley showed me Ihasahotdog.com, I was hooked! So far, my efforts to make Buddy famous have not succeeded. But I'm having fun. Here is my latest. My favorite way to show that I'm a dog lover has to be my DOG IS LOVE bumpersticker. They can be ordered from loveyourbuddy.com where they have others as well, like DOG ONLY NOSE. The money raised with the bumperstickers all goes to animal welfare.

Censored!

2009-05-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

Yikes! I've been censored. I post comments on Huffington Post all the time but today I had a comment not go through, and I can only assume they didn't like what I said. I was responding to a piece by Norman Lear where he said he was heartbroken about the American auto industry. My comment was yes, it is very disappointing, but much more heartbreaking is this, the hunger-relief organization Feeding America just released a report that says 12 million American children under age 18 are not getting adequate nutrition. To me this is important news that I haven't seen anywhere but Facing South. Maybe Huffington Post doesn't like alt news site links?
Well I do. Here it is.
http://www.southernstudies.org/2009/05/children-going-hungry-in-the-south.html

Stephen Marley with Surprise Guest Julian Marley

2009-05-28T11:43:00.000-07:00

We were treated to a really lovely show last night at the Lincoln Theatre in Raleigh. For most of the show Stephen sat at the front edge of the stage. He seemed to really enjoy the intimate setting. We were favored with selections from Mind Control as well as favorites such as No Woman, No Cry from his father's repertoire. Most special to us personally, he performed Three Little Birds, which was the first song (our) Marley ever heard. His dad sang it to him in the hospital the day after he was born. So to hear it live on Marley's 12th birthday was very special - thanks Stephen!
Near the end of the show surprise guest Julian came out for a couple of songs! He has a new album called Awake that just came out. I'm listening to it now, it's good! In an extra long encore Stephen pulled out an old one that is one of my favorites, High Tides, which was a treat, and then finished the night with Redemption Song. It is really good to see Stephen carrying on his dad's message, and also finding his own voice as an artist. I like the way all of Bob's sons are close, making music together, helping each other along. That is a nice tribute to him too.
We were speculating that they enjoy their current level of fame, being able to play in these small venues, not having to deal with the inevitable hassles that happen when things get bigger. I think the world needs them though. They have a good message, they are uplifting.

Smells!

2009-05-25T21:09:00.000-07:00

I went out in my backyard this afternoon and smelled lavender, mint and sage. Now this is exciting because usually I can't smell at all. Nothing. Not gasoline. And my sense of smell has been coming back. But first it was bad smells. Like the stinky dog. But then I started smelling my coffee in the morning, and now - all these other things! Smells I remember! It so amazing to have a smell come back where it was gone, because you get used to it being gone, to living without -it's sterile in a way, because there is just nothing. Interestingly, there is also none of the irritation or discomfort that comes from breathing fumes of gas or smoke. But now, I am getting lots of smells back, and though it is a little overwhelming at times, it is mostly good. It's because I'm taking prednisone. I just hope I can keep smelling after I quit. Incentive to be faithful to my Kenalog irrigation. The lavender bush is about to burst into bloom.

Happy Upcoming Boogie

2009-05-23T18:14:00.000-07:00

A Story Of Masks

2009-05-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

What has been done to the earth
has been done to you
as to us all
Every murder, every rape, every act of torture
leaves its scar on the landscape of the self
and the outer bars
cast shadows in our mind

Feel them
they are your wounds
they are all you might have been
and will not be
Cry for it mourn rage
There are toxins in your blood
Your dismembered parts
lie scattered around you
You prowl your own borders
looking for escape
The wall is invisible
like glass, but stronger
you can't get over it
you can't get under it
you can't get around it

So you put on the mask
that hides you
and try to slip through
How do you walk in this mask?
How does your body feel?
The mask covers you
It hides the barrier
And suddenly you can't remember
where you were going or why
and none of it seems very important
so you stop and sit
And there you can remain
forever
Or you can take the mask off

And put on the tricky mask
the deceiving mask
and try to slip through
How do you walk in this mask?
How does your body feel?
And the barrier disappears
and you walk through
and the path is clear and green and pleasant
and you know it's the right way
although from time to time
you suspect
that you really haven't gone anywhere
that you are back where you started from
And there you can remain
forever
Or you can take the mask off

And you put on the mask
that pleases
and try to slip through
How do you walk in this mask?
How does your body feel?
And everyone at the barrier is charming
they make polite conversation
they serve tea
they sympathize with your difficulties
with how hard it is to break through
and you wouldn't want to offend them
so you stay where you are
And there you can remain
forever
Or you can take the mask off

And you put on the ugly mask
and try to smash through
How do you walk in this mask?
How does your body feel?
You don't care who you offend or what you
break
the pleasant people scatter
the teacups shatter
and you bash into the barrier
again and again
your flesh becomes pulp
your own bones break
And there you can remain
forever
Or you can take the mask off

Unmasked

Turn your naked face
to the fire
that remains
An ember in the center
juice of the earth's living heart
The fire survives
as you survive
and all may yet survive in you
Beside the fire
She is still sitting
the story woman
Her whisper makes
a dry sound
like the sliding of snakes
coupling and uncoupling
at the cell's core
Like the memory of
being alive
with all life living in you

She says
There is another way
You knew it once
Remember

Memory sleeps coiled
like a snake in a basket
of grain
deep in the storehouse
Breathe deep
Let your breath take you down

Find your way there
And you will find the way out

-Starhawk

I came across this today and just felt it really spoke to the moment. It is from Starhawk's Truth or Dare.

New Links Added

2009-05-16T15:04:00.000-07:00

I've put up a bunch of links for your internet amusement. I especially want to say something about my Health Links. The internet is a huge resource for patient empowerment - you can also completely misdiagnose yourself and drive yourself crazy. Like any powerful tool, you have to learn how to use it. It is important to get good information that expands your understanding of your condition. I like to know everything that can be helpful, so I've put up my best herbal information sites, some good general info - the Medical Library has loads of links itself to explore. One of the most helpful things I think the internet has for the patient is support from others who have been there. Just knowing that others have survived what you are going through is very comforting. Then there is the added bonus of potentially learning some helpful tips or treatment information. Check out the great bunch of health -related blogs that I have included here, but don't stop there, if you have a particular health issue, search for a blog that addresses it. I really admire these bloggers that put themselves out there, and I hope that I too can talk about my experiences in a way that will help others. Last, I included a link to a great article in Scientific American about the latest research on migraines. I have migraines, but with the help of a lot of drugs, don't suffer nearly as much as I used to. It is a trade off, though, there are side effects, and no way to know what kind of long term use of these drugs that have only existed for 10-15 years will bring.

Marley 4 Marley

2009-05-13T11:36:00.000-07:00

We were psyched to discover that one of our favorite musicians, Stephen Marley, son of the legendary Bob Marley is going to be in Raleigh at the Lincoln Theatre on May 27 - our Marley's birthday! So come out and party with us. We saw Stephen in Norfolk a couple of years ago and he puts on a great show.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-11T11:47:00.001-07:00

Mother's Day brings up all kinds of wonderful memories, early ones at my grandparents house, when my buddy Dana and I would run across the street to the golf course and cut roses from the wild bushes that grew there. Luckily all the mothers got to wear red roses to church, to show that their mothers were still alive. Fast forward twenty years to mothers day as a mother - nothing compares to the sheer joy of becoming a mother.
But there is also a more public side of Mother's Day, it is a day of national notice of mothers. One day is not enough. Jefferson based the structure of our government on the Iroquois Confederacy, but he didn't see the women's council. Whether this is because of his own cultural bias, or because as a male outsider he would not have been privy to see the women I don't know. However, the power of the Women's Council made a huge difference in the Iroquois society. Women owned the land, the homes and the agriculture. This gave them a powerful vote.
IMHO, it is this lack of female balance in our own government that causes problems. Male and female energy balance each other. Women are less likely to send their sons off to war for frivolous reasons, want the children of the world to be fed, and favor universal health care.
Also, it was women who initially called the problems with the banking industry way out in front of anybody else - and of course no one listened to them. It seems to me that now there are some people really articulating what a more balanced governance might be like, the backlash is astounding. But we make progress slowly.
When it comes to the Mother of us all, Mother Earth, we are definitely making progress too slowly. How's your carbon footprint? Have you changed over your light bulbs? Are you recycling everything your city will take? We are working on turning out lights when not in use and strategic planting (deciduous on the south side.) Everyone needs to make these efforts because we are already at the point where we are seeing greater acceleration than the scientists predicted.
On that happy note, I would just like to say, love to my mom, and my Granny - Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Day

2009-05-08T12:05:00.000-07:00

Today is my Popsi's birthday. He's been gone from us for five years now, but I feel him with me all the time. He is in my dreams more than ever. He was a rock for our family, but he was much more than that. He was a huge source of fun. When I was little he had a circus train - complete with (stuffed) lion and a calliope car that played carnival music. He would pull it out for the local children to ride (for free) on any occasion. Then there was his beloved motor home that we took so many trips in and have so many joyful family memories in. Well, there's no way to sum up so much on a short post like this! I just wanted to take a moment to honor my Popsi who means so much to me.

Good News

2009-05-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

I got word last night that our good friend that has been in the hospital all last week is going home tomorrow. Good news indeed. We have been really pulling for her. I’m posting a Mayan mandala today, one that I colored with photoshop. Coloring with photoshop is a different experience, not as relaxing as coloring with markers. You get the nice crisp borders though. I used to color a lot, and I think it can be a good therapeutic thing, if you have pain and need to distract yourself, it doesn’t take a lot of a certain type of energy. Chronic pain is one thing I feel like I can speak to, having been through a lot of it, so I will write more about things that have helped me, and would love to hear from others about what has helped them too.

In a medical vein, (ooh, sorry, that's just bad) I was happy to turn someone on to pharmASSIST recently. that's www.seniorpharmassist.org they help Durham medicare recipients with their prescription coverage choices.

Happy Beltane

2009-05-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

As Samhain is for drawing in, Beltane is for branching out. All around us the world is blooming forth, inviting us to be joyful. If we can set aside the worries and distractions of that other world the "media made" world. Then there is the world you experience with other people, friends, family. But what about when it is just you? Spend some time in the beauty of the natural world, and let springtime speak to you.
Sadly, Durham's own Ernie Barnes has passed away. Ernie was best known as the artist who painted the artwork for the TV show Good Times. He also did the cover for Marvin Gaye's Sugar Shack. I grew up watching Good Times, and I remember being so proud that the artist came from here. His distinctive, elongated style earns him being called a pioneer of the neo-mannerists. For more: http://www.southernstudies.org/2009/05/culture-beat-remembering-famed-sugar-shack-painter-ernie-barnes.html

Pass the Popcorn

2009-04-28T01:33:00.000-07:00

Today I’m going to offer some movie reviews. The first movie is called One Eyed Monster and could easily be the silliest movie I have ever seen. It is a horror movie spoof about a group of people who go to some isolated mountaintop cabins to make a porn film. Then they are attacked by Ron Jeremy’s disembodied penis and picked off one by one. It isn’t too heavy on the porn or the horror, but it isn’t all that hilarious either. Imagining the creator pitching the idea to the producers is kind of humorous though. I can’t recommend this one unless you are really desperate for something truly meaningless to watch.

Our second movie is more substantial. The Notorious B.I.G. is the story of rapper Chris “Biggie Smalls” Wallace, whose life was cut short as he had only just begun his rise to fame. His story is a fairly gripping one, as he goes from small time hood to rap star. We see the other famous lives he came in contact with, from his close relationship with Lil’ Kim to his producer Sean (then called Puffy) Combs. (Who also produced this movie.) And we see some of the problems that fame brought to Biggie as well as the problems he brought on himself. In the end, the feud with Tupac is presented as a misunderstanding or maybe paranoia by Tupac, but not Biggie’s doing. But with the feud inflamed by the media, he was murdered just as he was realizing commercial success with his music. This is a pretty evenhanded presentation, it feels respectfully done. His life was dramatic enough without being over dramatized. If you’re interested, I’d recommend it.

The Beauty That's In My Garden

2009-04-27T16:18:00.000-07:00

2009-04-26T17:21:00.001-07:00

The Easter Bandit

2009-04-26T17:09:00.000-07:00

Today I thought I'd put up this great picture I got of the infamous (well, in our family anyway) squirrel who makes himself/herself an extra special nuisance at my mom's annual egg hunt. They little guy opens numerous eggs and makes off with not only chocolate but cash! He was really fearless this year, leading me to think he's developed a serious sweet tooth.

The Teddy Bear Picnic

2009-04-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

Happy New Moon

2009-04-25T09:46:00.000-07:00

It's Astrological May Day. And not long until May is here for real. May often feels like the busiest month of the year, with all the birthdays we have and Mother's Day. I always think too that we can really count on the hot weather to have fully arrived by the end of May, so I'm not feeling too good about the fact that we have already turned the a/c on.
In honor of it being about a month away, I thought I'd put up one of my "boogie pictures." I've been making these pictures for T and her crew for a while now, incorporating Jerry into the boogie theme.

An Example of My Art

2009-04-23T13:16:00.000-07:00

Zombies notwithstanding, I wanted to put a real collage up, and this is the only one I have scanned! Unfortunately, most of ones I have done are so large I haven't figured out how to scan them. But I have some small ones that I need to scan and I have some ideas for a new series in a small format...
We got our new bed today! There's just no telling how much better life might be with a good night's sleep and hopefully my back problems will improve.

Camping - Not for the Fainthearted

2009-04-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

The last time we were up camping along the South Toe, we were in our favorite spot, that we have camped many times over the years. We have also had some great group camps at the large sites that the Black Mountain Campground has near there - but that's another story. So we hear from our neighboring campers that there is a bear in the area, but we aren't too concerned, because well, there are bears in that area. We take the (normal) precaution of hanging our food a little way from camp, all except a few items that are left for late night snacking in a small rubbermaid container which is bungied and left over with the cooler (rocks on top) a little way from the tent.
Husband wakes to noise, thinks it is a raccoon, starts to yell and switches on flashlight, unzips tent and sees BEAR. Very LARGE BEAR. So, being a sensible guy, he shuts up, turns the flashlight off, and lets us sleep through the whole thing. I do remember hearing the people across the road setting off their car alarm - that was how they were scaring the bear away - and thinking "oh, the bear must be over there."
So in the morning we find the rubbermaid container, still bungied, but everything in it is eaten. The bear just clawed it open - even the juice boxes were drained! We also had huge bear paw prints all over the truck windows.
We really need to go camping again, its been too long.

Hello World!

2009-04-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

I've thought this over, and once deciding to start a blog, got stuck on what to name the blog! I wanted it to be something cool, something clever, something perfectly me. But you know, it is really hard to sum up who you are in a couple of words. Which part of yourself do you choose to highlight? I am an artist, writer, mom, wife, beader, eno river lover, Deadhead, Witch, dog lover, reader, with an interest in prehistoric art and indigenous religions throughout the world. Also I make good cookies. Finally I settled on kennie mac, it is the closest I ever came to a nickname, and what my Granny called me when I was little. I thought it was good, personal, easy - then along comes DH who says why are you trying to sound like bernie mac?
ok, I confess, the bernie mac thing hadn't occurred to me.